Relationship Gratitude Practice
I have an idea. It’s Thanksgiving week and I wanted to come up with a way to make the week more special especially as it relates to my marriage. Being a relationship coach means my brain never stops trying to come up with this stuff. Rest assured, if I suggest it I will be doing it too.
Here is my idea….
Every day for this week send your partner a message, it can be through text, or a post it note on the mirror, or say out loud, whatever feels best to you, with one thing you are thankful for about them.
Then under the one thing list 3 reasons why you are thankful for that attribute or act.
Example: I am so thankful that you always make sure I have gas in my car and often go and get gas for me.
The reasons I am thankful for that is because it makes me feel so loved and safe. It also saves me time and keeps me from running out because I forget to pay attention to that.
See nothing fancy or even overly romantic. Just gratitude. Everyone likes to feel appreciated.
Do this daily and expect NOTHING in return. Let the reward be the feeling of gratitude in your body.
If you catch yourself saying “I would be thankful if they were thankful” just stop. That isn’t helping anyone. Take radical responsibility for your own happiness in the relationship. Feeling the emotion of gratitude feels SOOOOO much better than the feeling of disappointment.
No, I’m not saying to bypass negative emotion but you get to decide what you want to feel. Whatever you are feeling currently is what you are choosing to feel. If you want to feel negative then feel it. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I am disappointed and I’m not afraid to feel that but I personally find no benefit in staying in that emotion.
If you feel disappointed in your relationship notice the thoughts that are creating that feeling. Are those thoughts in service to love? If not maybe you could try this gratitude practice and see if you feel a bit of a shift.
I believe that practicing this be beneficial to your relationship but it will also be so beneficial to you. You will be so much more aware of the positive things about your partner. What you give awareness to tends to increase.
Let me know how this goes.
Happy Thanksgiving friends. I am extremely thankful for you!