Romance and Migraines

About 11 years ago I was really questioning my marriage. It wasn't bad but it wasn't so good either. I craved romance, that isn't his strong suit. There was a thought I was wrestling with.... maybe I could be happier with someone else. 

Someone said something to me that forced me to look at reality. "Nicole, if you aren't happy just leave." I was taken back. I was defensive. I responded that I was happy and I didn't want to leave. They said, "there is your answer". Basically, "sh*t or get off the pot", to be crude but to the point. My eyes were instantly open to the gift that my marriage was.

A year later my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer. We started a long difficult road that turned out to be the catalyst for incredible change. We became really intentional and our relationship began to shift. 

For the last 10 years, we have both learned that romance doesn't always look like dinners and dancing (not that he ever dances, haha). Sometimes it looks like literally taking care of each other. 

Saturday morning while he was about to enter the woods for a morning hunt I called him and told him I needed him to come home. I had been up all night with a migraine and simply needed him. No questions asked he rushed home and took care of me.

I lay in his arms and cried, partly from pain, but also from deep gratitude that we realize that if taking care of each other during a migraine, or cancer, or a stomach virus isn't romantic, then romance is overrated. I would gladly trade candlelit dinners for a man that will leave his hunting stand to hold me because my head hurts. Yet I tend to believe we can have both.

I want to encourage you that if you are in a relationship with someone that you can count on to take care of you, feel a deep sense of gratitude. There is nothing more beautiful than a relationship that helps you to feel completely loved and safe. 

If you do not, just know that it is possible. You can have the relationship that you want with a bit of effort. 


Relationship Gratitude Practice

Relationship Gratitude Practice

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