Getting lost in New Orleans on a long morning walk after a night of amazing food, wine, and dancing is not my typical weekend. This past weekend was an exception to the typical. On my walk I was struck by this mirrored wall and the words etched there. What did I see? A couple of years ago I would have seen hips that were too big, this time I saw hips that are curvy the way they were meant to be. There is no amount of exercise that is going to change that and that is a beautiful thing. I stopped fighting my body and started loving it and change occurred. I lost a few pounds but what I gained was 1000 times more transformational, I gained the confidence to live a life I was created for! Such an amazing transition has taken place within my mind!!!
I have a coaching teacher that says, "a belief is a thought you keep on thinking". Simple, right? If you think so then think about all the things you believe and what thought leads you to believe it. Not so simple. I'm not delving into the deep waters here with spirituality or religion, keeping this just focused on more easily recognized thoughts. Even with that in mind, this is a simple concept but not so simple to grasp.
I used to believe that I was overweight. I believed that my husband would rather be with someone else. I believed that to be whole I needed everyone to like me and approve of me. I found validation in domestic tasks and convinced myself that they were the only things I could excel at. It was pretty eye opening when I realized that all of those things were simply things that I kept thinking. They were only true because I thought they were.
It did not matter that I was a little heavier, the problem wasn't the weight, it was my thought about the weight. It didn't matter that I am married to the most adoring husband on the planet, it was the thought I was telling myself about him that kept me in fits of jealousy, wasting precious energy attempting to micromanage him. It didn't matter that the people I sought validation from were certainly not even giving me a second thought, they weren't even thinking about me.
I spent too much time choosing thoughts that did not serve me in any way. One day I decided to let go. It took time for the releases to actually happen but I chose to let go and the unraveling began, and continues. I stopped thinking that being certain size would fix me. I stopped caring so much about being beautiful. What happened is, I began to feel beautiful. I let go of micromanaging my husband out of jealousy and our relationship went to a whole new level of connection and intimacy. I let go of needing approval and began to connect with friends in a much more genuine way and now have a life filled with authentic relationships that are truly life-giving.
We choose what we believe with our thoughts, then we look for things to support that belief. That means we can change our beliefs with our thoughts. Whatever thought isn't serving you, change it. If you are angry all the time find what thought you are choosing that keeps leading you to that feeling and change that thought. The same goes for any feeling that does not feel good to you....jealousy, powerlessness, fear, worry, shame, sadness, etc. Pay attention to your emotions and look for the thoughts behind them. You can change the thought NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. Our brains are that miraculous! It may not happen overnight but it WILL happen.
This concept is something I have spent lots of time on. If you think it's impossible, it's not. Make a decision to change and start being intentional about it. I would love to help you. Check out my coaching page for more info. I would love to work with you!