So many times the "what if...?" is fear finding acceptable language.
I remember when my boys were born. The "what if...?"s tried to overtake me. Again later when I decided to pursue yoga teacher certification, and more recently when I decided to go to college at 44, YIKES. Honestly, anytime something is a bit out of my comfort zone.
The moment we embark upon something that requires a bit of bravery we face the same question asked a million ways. What if......??????
I have decided to intentionally move toward overcoming the fear. Maybe this will help you.
Walk into the "what if...?".
What if it's scary?
What if I'm not good at it?
What if they don't like me?
What if someone else does the same thing?
What if I get sick?
What if someone I love gets sick?
What if I die?
What if someone I love dies?
What if I don't succeed?
What if they leave?
What if we responded to all of the "what if?"s with a gentle, loving "so what?"
So what would happen if any one of the "what if"s occurred?
A light example of this for me has been "what if it takes me 10 years to finish college?". "So what?" has lifted that fear of shame. Chances are it will take me quite a while because I am in no hurry and feel no pressure to be.
Sometimes "so what?" is much heavier. But we are brave and we can wander there.
The wandering in is scary. Maybe, if we walk into the thought of the worst happening, make peace, then we no longer have to live afraid. No more decisions based on fear.
Sometimes walking into the thought of our worst fear brings us to a beautiful place of perfect love. The thought of losing anyone I love is painful. One day my husband will die, I will die, but we are here today. In this moment. This moment is what we have. I want to live and love beautifully, passionately. That is simply a choice. I choose that.
Often we tend to complicate life and figure out ways to justify and glorify things that keep us stuck. What if we spent a minute imagining our worst fear, walked right into that dark cave in our mind, turned the light on, then chose to see it for what it is? We then smiled and walked right back out. Took a deep breath and said "thank you" because fear has not overtaken us. Perfect love has.